What is Shibari Bondage and How to Try It?

Although Netflix has made shibari bondage popular, there are still a lot of people who do not know what is shibari. Some of them even confuse it with BDSM bondage. Both may have the same idea of pleasure and pain but they are essentially quite different. We will explore what is shibari and all the similarities, differences it has with conventional rope bondage in this article.

Therefore, without much beating about the bush, let us dive straight into the matter.

Shibari is a form of Japanese bondage. The rope used for this purpose is different from Western bondage rope. shibari BDSM uses a natural fiber rope instead of a synthetic material. The effects of kinbaku are achieved not by knots but by friction. The ties on the rope are also aesthetic and require mastery. In case you are wondering what is kinbaku, it is another name for shibari.

Shibari originated from a method called Hojo-Jutsu. It was a method of torture by retraining the prisoners. Gradually, by the 19th century, it morphed into a sexual act that involves bondage restraints.

Why Try Shibari?

• Cost effective: One of the major benefits of indulging in Japanese rope bondage is that it is not expensive. Compared to Western BDSM and bondage toys, a shibari bondage rope comes at a lot cheaper price. You need not invest in expensive cuffs and floggers.
• Brings about thrill: Shibari will bring about a thrill in your sex life. It can turn your otherwise vanilla nights into a night of exploration and fascinating foreplay.
• Aesthetic: The Japanese bondage has aestheticism and mysticism to it. This oriental seduction technique is a lot more sophisticated and artsy than your regular western bondage.

Misconceptions About Shibari

It Boils Down to Sex

Some people might think that it is all about sex but if you know how to shibari in the right way, it is much more than that. It is an erotic play that does not only prepares you for the climax but also lets you enjoy the act. It can help the partners bond well and inculcate trust in each other. It has amazing psychological effects on couples practicing.

It is Torturous

The idea of shibari rope tying is more focused on the pleasure principle and less on the pain. It is not done to inflict unbearable pain but to bring about a radical change in the foreplay that is satisfactory. The sub can always use a safe word to convey pain or discomfort.

It is Demeaning

No form of bondage is demeaning as long as it is consensual. It is fun and titillating. That being said, one must never be forced to engage in shibari sex as that would be demeaning and not the act in itself.

Some Basic Shibari Terms

• Rigger/rope top- person who is tying
• Bunny/ rope bottom- the person being tied
• Self-tie- someone tieing himself or herself
• Floor-tie- the bonding done on the floor
• Single column tie- doing a decorative knot on any one part of the body
• Double column- tying two things together

The Rope

Japanese roping techniques are quite different from western bondage, and thus the rope is also unique. Get a strong rope that does not have too much of a stretch, the little the better. You can use a jute rope, they are quite good. A rope that is 6mm thick should work fine. Along with that, make sure that you get a pair of scissors that can cut through the rope in case the bottom feels too much pain.

What Rope to Pick?

Jute and hemp are the most widely preferred materials for a shibari rope. 7 to 8 meters is the ideal length of shibari rope. The material must be strong because there aren’t too many tight knots but it is the strength of the rope that matters.

Handling the Rope

Before you begin, going through a shibari guide is of utmost importance. Get inspiration from professionals and then try at home. Before anything, it is important to learn how to tie shibari. Begin by practicing single ties and then move on to the more complicated ones like a full hitch, half hitch, crossing hitch, etc.

• Communicate with your partner and respect boundaries and tolerance quotient
• Make sure both the partners are sober while practicing shibari fetish
• Keep a knife handy to cut the rope in case of severe pain
• Come up with a safe word and respect it
• The top must check in with the bottom if he/she is okay with the current situation
• Do not leave the bottom in the room for too long
• Indulge in cuddles and kisses after the session
• Perform only those bondage sex positions that both the partners are comfortable with.

We hope we have been able to enlighten you enough on what is shibari to try it with your partner. However, remember to talk with your partner and discuss everything clearly before you begin your shibari session.