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Melissa Tilghman
Editor-in-Chief of the My Toy For JoyReaders must think this article is the brainchild of someone absolutely crazy, why else would it talk about “ruining an orgasm”? Hold that thought. We have a very strong point to make. Denying your orgasm can actually be kinky stuff that gives you a way better pay off at the session’s end. Know all about ruined orgasm and how to ruin an orgasm in this article. Are you ready to explore the less trodden path of erotic pleasure?
What is Ruined Orgasm?
“A ruined orgasm is typically a type of control play found in the BDSM community whereby the dominant person gets the submissive person highly aroused and then leaves them hanging to experience a very low quality to no sensation type of orgasm if any at all.” That’s how Jenni Skyler, a renowned sex therapist, describes what is a ruined orgasm.
There are several types of denials:
- Complete denial is no orgasm is given through either masturbation or sexual activity.
- Tease and denial involve teasing but not permission to cum.
- Ruined orgasm involves doing something to either prevent cumming or making it less satisfying.
How Does it Feel Like?
Like most BDSM stuff, a failed orgasm will have adverse effects on the sub. Since the sub has no control over their body, the experience may be humiliating, painful, and even end to sexual arousal for the rest of the act. A ruined male orgasm feels way worse than a female one because women are naturally capable of multiple orgasms.
Ruined Orgasm vs Edging
Before you understand how to ruin an orgasm, you must understand the difference between ruining and edging. The latter basically means stopping right at the time of orgasm and beginning again, which results in a great deal of pleasure. It is often known as interrupted orgasm.
Ruined Orgasm vs Forced Orgasm
Forced orgasm is the practice of depriving the sub of control over their own orgasm with the aid of physical restrains like BDSM toys.
How to Give A Ruined Orgasm
Discuss and Take Consent
BDSM is an immensely sensitive practice and not everyone will be okay with it. Make sure you discuss everything with your partner before engaging in any sort of abandoned orgasm adventure. Be one hundred percent sure that your sub will be fine with you dominating and ruining his/her orgasm.
Clear communication is the first step to a healthy and successful BDSM relationship, otherwise, it is clear abuse and torture.
Talk Boundaries and Come Up With A Safe Word
Whether you introduce your partner to BDSM or new things in the existing equation, you must always talk about the boundaries and respect the same. Do not try to stretch beyond your partner’s capacity and come up with a safe word to be used in extreme situations. Even as a sub, if you are very concerned about how to please your dom, do not take it beyond your breaking point. Employ the safe word and if your dom is understanding, it would not affect the relationship.
Know About The Sub-Dom Dynamics
Before you embark on any sub dom activity, do your research on this very well. Read articles and go through youtube tutorials.
Tease
Go about slowly and build in the tension by teasing your partner. Do not vigorously go about making out. The secret of a ruined ejaculation lies in slowly building up sexual tension. This can be done with the help of several accessories.
Stop Stimulation Before Climax
Once you see him about to cum, stop all that you are doing. Do not even touch him. Freeze. You will see him convulse in pain instead of pleasure, that’s when you know you have succeeded.
Accessories To Use
Cock Rings
These are wrapped around the base of the penis and balls to enhance the sensations produced by ejaculation. Using this will ensure an even better dom experience.
Fleshlight
Fleshlights are devices that resemble a pussy and can be great for stimulation. These can do anything right from penetration to oral sex. This will help you in teasing your partner.
Blindfolds
Blindfolds can be used to refrain your partner from seeing anything, and this keeps your moves unexpected and can be great arousal for he will hardly know what’s next in store for him.
Restraints
These are used to partially tie up the sub. It gives a greater sense of control to the dom.
Cock cage
This is also called a chastity cage and can be hurtful. It prevents the person from having any kind of penetration or masturbation. It is like a lock attached to the shaft of the penis.
Lubricant
Lubricants are a must for any BDSM play, especially if you are using other accessories.
Safety Precautions
Practicing denied orgasm for a long time can lead to the build-up of prostatic fluid, which in turn can give way to bacteial growth. Ejaculation is therefore very necessary. Engage in prostrate milking via massage at regular intervals.
Do’s and Don’ts
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Final Word
We hope all your doubts and questions regarding how to ruin an orgasm are clear. Share your views and experiences in the comment section below.
